Last night my cousin Hayley had a baby girl. All was well with me when my cousin Lindsey told me her name, it didn't hit me until she told me she was named after my dad. Her name is Elliot Claire Kaemingk. My dads name is Clair Bryon, He has never gone by Clair so it didn't set in for a few minutes, once it did I was a blubbering mess. I just talked to my stepmom last night and everything is well with my dad, nothing new development wise, but he is comfy and more vocal at the place he is at in Casper, WY. I haven't been thinking about his accident lately with remodeling a house, and baby incubating going on. It seems when I do I just get depressed and go through the "it's my fault" phase. He and I hadn't talked in three years when he had his accident. I always think if I had just been the better person and made a phone call to make things better, but no, I knew everything then.
I have been doing alot better with things now, but when I have time to myself I keep thinking of the fact that he will never know his grandbaby, he will meet him/her, but I can't help but wonder if he will know who the baby is, he knows who we are when we go visit so I don't see why not, but I always get those thoughts going through my mind. The worry wart in me. I have been a little emotional the past few days but with a little more rest and relaxing I think all will be fine.