the closer it gets...

The closer it gets to us closing on the house, the more scared I am about moving out and being a "grown up." I know Josh and I can make it on our own and do well, but the initial thought of not being there with our parents to be at our every beck and call is very scary. The thought that we won't always have a mother figure in the same room with us to calm our nerves or just to talk to scares me. Even though they are just a phone call away, It still is hard to get adjusted to. I am very close with my mom and talk to her 50 times a day, and the same with Josh. We worry about making the house payment, and all the other bills, even though we know deep down we can do it, and get them out on time. I guess the initial thought of actually being on our own, and having a mortgage in our own name is scary beyond belief. Being that we are both the babies of the family and have everything handed to us, doesn't really help us either. We are used to getting everything we want and need, but also working hard and making something of ourselves to make our parents proud. Besides being scared out of my mind, I am happy and excited beyond belief. I feel like I am making something of myself, when some people said I would be nothing, I guess in a mean way, it is a shove in the face to some. But oh well, I have to grow up some time, why not do it now with the man I am crazily in love with who makes me feel like I am a good person, in and out. We will have our two dogs, our sons, and us, what a happy family we will be. Once we get settled we will be adding another son to our family, a black lab hopefully. I can't wait for all the chaos of animals running around everywhere, and chasing Josh through the rooms because he wont pick his socks up off the living room floor.
Then I get in the thought process again where I start to wonder if I am doing the right thing all together. I wonder if I am ever going to graduate college with my bachelors, If Josh and I are too young to be buying a house, If I am making my mom and dad, proud. Whatever the case may be I am learning to live my life day by day and to the fullest I can, and not stress out over every little thing like I normally do. I am very happy and feel special to be buying a house at such a young age with the one who makes me the happiest I can be, and takes care of me very well. I still must say that I am scared out of my mind to be moving from the security of a home with parental guidance in it at all times. I know it will be a very fun experience that will teach me alot about myself.