A slap in the face

Last night when I was driving home with my dad from our final walk through, reality final hit me..........right square in the face. I all of a sudden just realized what I was doing and started wondering what I was getting myself into. I was talking to him about and he was of course reassuring me that I will be just fine and that I am smart enough to make the right decisions about bills and what not. But for some reason I keep second guessing myself. I feel like im a nervous bride getting cold feet the day of her wedding, even though Im not married......whatever you get the idea. I asked Josh last night if he was as scared as I am and he just looked at me funny. I guess with everything being handed to me my whole life It will be a shock to get our lovely little house payment in the mail every month, along with gas, and power and all that other junk. Im just so scared out of my mind about being out on "my own" not having a parental guide with me at all times, now I actually have to clean my own kitchen and my own bedroom and 2 spare rooms, AND 2 bathrooms, and do our laundry (which I already do but Im venting) and clean our yard, naturally in Las Vegas nobody has yards but Josh and I sure got one. I am so nervous about everything having to do with the house that I am making myself feel sick, and not sleeping at night.

All in all I know it will work out for the best, that this is the best thing I can do for my future with Josh. I am unbelievably happy to b emoving forward and making something out of myself even though some family thought otherwise. Updates to come later